Now that you have gone on a few dates with that special guy, you can’t help but wonder what he is thinking. While some guys are great at asking for a commitment or letting you know they are interested after a couple months, others will be less forthcoming. This leaves you with that age-old conundrum of trying to avoid coming off as clingy while still figuring out if he really likes you. The worry about feeling insecure is real, but you should also remember that every healthy relationship is based on honest communication. When you really want to know how he feels, use these strategies to find out without seeming pushy or thirsty.
Avoid Labeling Too Soon When you are caught up in fantasies of happily ever after, it is easy to forget that you haven’t been dating too long. For a reality check, take a look at your calendar. If it hasn’t been at least three months of dating, then you need to scale back your worries. Men sometimes need a little more time to decide if they are truly interested, and asking him how he feels after the second date leaves him feeling confused. While it’s best to avoid putting a label on your relationship in the early months of dating, you can still gain insight into how he feels by letting him know that you like him. Most likely, he’ll at least give some type of reinforcement that lets you know that he is interested in deepening the romance.
Do Some Detective Work
It is not necessary to flat out ask him what he thinks. All you need to do is ask him some questions that require revealing answers. If it’s early in the year, ask him what he plans to do over summer break. Ideally, his plans should involve you in some way. Otherwise, it is likely that he doesn’t view your relationship as serious or long-term. You could also mention that a couple you know has decided to move in together, and gauge his reaction. A guy who seems genuinely happy for them is likely looking to settle down eventually while one who jokes about being tied down is still enjoying his single status.
Make Sure You Want to Know This is one conversation that can truly change a relationship. Before you ask, prepare yourself for receiving an answer that you don’t want to hear. Hopefully, all goes well, and you will end your conversation with a kiss. However, it is possible that he’ll say he’s just playing the field, and you will need to make a big decision. Keep in mind that continuing the relationship is also an option if you feel he’s worth waiting for and there might be a future down the road.
Put It Out There Being direct is best when you have an issue to bring up with your favorite guy. First, make sure that you aren’t angry or in an awkward public place. Then, just tell him what you are thinking. Say something to him about how he’s not calling as much or that you would like to make a commitment to stop seeing other people since it’s been three months. Making your point puts the ball in his court to tell you how he feels about taking the relationship to the next level.
Keeping communication open is important in every relationship. While the urge to avoid being hurt is strong, you must find out where your relationship stands. Just be honest and direct, and your guy will let you know how he feels so that you can decide whether to stay or move on.
Written by: Sherie Silvera
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